GOUZELLE ISHMATOVA 2

 

You do not love because: you love despite.

When you grow up, you do not ask yourself whether you do or do not love your country... It is a fact.
I was born in a country that no longer exists. I grew up with a soviet mentality and when I was 25 years old, I made the choice to leave Russia. And I left without really knowing my country.
This photo project is my way to understand who I am and to accept my roots, my history, my choice and myself because without acceptance, it is impossible to move on.
This project is about homeland, about the country that my grandparents defended with their blood.
The country that doesn’t know how to respect an individual.
The country that achieved a technological breakthrough in the 20th century, and now is a raw-material provider with a Tsarist as president that has been in power for the past two decades.
The country Russians prefer to leave.
The country where even the officials themselves do not see a future.
Where the wealthy prefer to give birth abroad to give their children a second passport, a second chance.
The country that has been pumping out intellectuals for the past 50 years.

The cultural country - the whole world reads Russian writers, listens to Russian pianists, composers, and watches Russian ballet.
The country which is the main supplier of “best-wives” abroad, that have the image of beautiful and obedient life companions.

The country of the oppressed. A country which doesn’t have a domestic violence law in 2020. A country of sport achievements where victory is more important than participation.
A large country with a multinational people.
The country that has, for every one female suicide, 6 male ones.

A stupid country of smart people.
A naive, kind country living with achievements of the past and so beloved, my country.

One day I woke up and told myself that I can’t ignore it anymore. I have to be brave, look inside myself and say, “It’s okay to be me, this is my heritage, my roots, and this is where I come from.”

2008 - 2020